If you're not watching
Dancing with the Stars, then you clearly need a sassy gay friend to come and tell you, "Look at your life. Look at your choices." The show is wildly entertaining. The only downside is watching your favorite dancer getting voted off, which brings me back to 2013.
It was the Season 17 of the hit reality series, and Nicole "Snooki" Polizzi was on the show. It was a better time. After all, when Snooki is on TV, you at least know that something is right in the world. Anyways, she was partnered with the hunky Sasha Farber. Let's hop in a time machine together and revisit some of Snooki's most epic dances.
5) Foxtrot - Week 6
There's an elegant innocence to this dance. Snooki moves with class and grace. Her lines are stunning and her posture is oh so perfect. When she smiles at the 1:03 mark, you can't help but feel giddy. The judges gushed over this performance and awarded the former
Jersey Shore star with a 27.
4) Quickstep - Week 3
When the number started with the announcer shouting, "Ladies and gentlemen, presenting the
one and only Snooki," I knew we were in for a treat. And you know what? I was RIGHT! The dress was divine. The dance was cheeky, fun, and even sassy at times. The song choice was inspired. If anyone on that show could pull off a Moulin Rouge number, it was Snooki. And pull it off she did. The judges gave her a 25. Personally, I think she deserved at LEAST a 27, but whatever.
3) Jazz - Week 5
Only a true bad bitch can dance her ass off to
Work B**ch by the Princess of Pop, Britney Spears. The feathery pantsuit is iconic in my opinion. I feel like Nicole should wear these more often. This is a physically aggressive dance with complex choreography. Leave it to Snooki to show us how it's done. A near-perfect 27 was 3 points less than she deserved, but alas, I'm not the judge. Maybe I should be. Actually, I'd rather be in casting, because then I could be the one to say, "We need Snooki back on this show ASAP!"
2) Cha-Cha - Week 1
On Week 1, Snooki pulls two 8's from the judges' scores. That's INCREDIBLE! She was never a dancer, yet came into the ballroom and performed magnificently. That opening spin at the 0:08 mark made my jaw hit the floor. And when she dropped the black trench-coat, it was as if she was telling everyone watching, "I'm here byotches!" I
live for such fabulous-ness.
1) Samba - Week 7
I know this is the week (forgive my tears) that Snooki got eliminated. But that was an INJUSTICE! This samba was stunning. The leopard-print was sensational. The shimmying was unmatched by any other stars' shimmying. The legwork was in a class of its own. How could America get this so wrong?! I am apologizing on our country's behalf for this error in judgement. Snooki got another 27 on this dance. Why the judges didn't give her a perfect score will forever remain one of the great unsolved mysteries of the world.